Thursday, October 31, 1996

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Hallowe’en. Or old Hallow’s Eve? OOWAHA HA HA HA!

Anyway, nothing too spooky. K____ was one of the undead. Everyone was. Oh well. I wore my nerd shirt. And no, I didn’t tel K____ about the “You Suck” shirt. Hopefully tomorrow. I’m getting a haircut tomorrow. Yeah! and I’m getting “Get Out of Dodge” by Huevos Rancheros. Can’t wait!

 

Dead Teen-aged Matt,

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Wednesday, October 30, 1996

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I could have told K____ about the shirt today. I didn’t forget. It wasn’t that I didn’t have an opportunity I just missed. In fact I had a great chance! K____ was standing RIGHT next to me and J____ W____ said to D____, “You suck!” Now, maybe if K____ had said it then I could’ve said something. Maybe I might have. I don’t know. To quote Weezer: “My baby I’m afraid I’m falling for you”. How poetic.

How about, “I’m told she’s a lesbian. I tought I had found the one. We were good as married in my mind, but married in my mind’s no good”. No, it just doesn’t exactly apply here. Well, not the first line anyway.

I should hypnotize myself to have more confidence. Enough to say, “Hey, you know how you said you wanted a t-shirt that says, “you suck” on it? I know where you can get one”. That’s all. I’m sorta hoping for S____ to not be at school one day, or week, so I could sit with K____ and the gang, or maybe they’d come sit with me, like last time because I’m “lonely”. That would be good. Get the sympathy thing going. But then again, how on earth could I ever ask if I could sit with them? They invited me over to their table once in Grade 9 I think, that was nice of them. Maybe they’d do that again. Thing is though, K____ is never there at the beginning of lunch.

My Huevos Rancheros CD is in. I have no money. God dammit. I need a haircut. Mom says we’ll get my CD on the weekend. Shit. K____ F____ wants me to come over to his place to help with a video for geography. I could go over there on the sunday maybe. I’d have to do my homework and get the CD on Saturday. Unless I went for the haircut and CD on friday, then I could go to K____ F____’s on Saturday and do my homework on Sunday.

Dear Teen-aged Matt,

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Tuesday, October 29, 1996

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Guess what, I still haven’t told K____ about the “You Suck” shirt. Tomorrow I’m going to suck it up and tell her. What do I have to lose? thing. Nothing at all.

In a dream yesterday night I talked to M____ about something and I hugged and kissed K____. Very nice, but I shouldn’t get to delusional. The plot was like so: I was talking to S____ for whatever reason and when she left she hugged me like on Friends or something. and I said, “y’know, I just don’t get it, you guys are into all this touchy, hugging stuff. Why?” and K____ said, “you’re just not doing it right is all”, or something like that. and then she hugged me, and it felt wonderful, like I was a baby in someone’s arms again. Then our eyes met and like on TV we kissed. I don’t remember tongues, but it was passionate nonetheless.

I walked behind M____ today. God she’s beautiful. I don’t know what it is about her. I just really like her.

 

Dear Teen-aged Matt,

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Monday, October 28, 1996

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Well, I didn’t tell K____ about the shirt today. But tomorrow for sure. I have the perfect opportunity too. Right before driver’s ed. Hopefully I’ll be able to before that, but I doubt I will if I have the chance. Oh well. I should ask her to see that new Romeo & Juliet movie with Claire Danes. It looks good. Seriously, it does. I wonder if she likes me. Everybody likes me, but I mean likes me, you know? Of course you do.

I NEED A HAIRCUT DAMMIT!

Stressful day in Comm. Tech. today. Editing shot. and essay (1200 words) Shit. In art we’re doing gargoyles. I want to do a troubled businessman. And I think I will.

T____ in math said, “Hey Matt, close the door.” as soon as I walked in. I walked behind K____ for a few feet. I got a glimpse of M____ from behind and again waiting for the bus. S____ F____ said, “What you doing back here Matt?” and I said, “Checking when my thing is.”

It was a rather eventful day in delusional romances today. I wonder what kind of music they all like.

I NEED A HAIRCUT DAMMIT!

M____’s wearing a Treble Charger t-shirt in the yearbook. I think K____ likes The Cranberries. I like them too. T____’s in grade 10, but I like her anyway. I hope my Huevos Rancheros CD comes in soon, but then again, I have no money.

I hope my theremin comes back soon. There is some sort of duty screw up or something that will hopefully be cleared up quickly. I’m helping K____ F____ with a geography project video and I haven’t started on my own. Shit!

 

Dear Teen-aged Matt,

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Sunday, October 27, 1996

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Haven’t written since Thursday.

On Friday S____ and I went to the mall. I bought a Pinky and the Brain shirt and a Weezer shirt. Both slightly big. Then I bought the Blur CD “The Great Escape” for six dollars. Then we went to see “Thinner” by Stephen King where we met a couple of really strange girls who we promptly fucked. Ha! Yeah right! They made fun of us. Then we rented “Bambi meets Godzilla and other weird cartoons” and “The Last Supper”, and I had taped “The Producers” a while back so we stayed up til 6am and when we got up we went on the internet and all in all it was a fun weekend.

Mom and dad bought a bread maker and a toaster and some cheez whiz. and I saw “Things to do in Denver when you’re dead”.

All the movies except for Thinner were good. The Last Supper being the best. Great ending! And I saw a shirt that says, “You suck” on it. K____ wants a shirt that says, “You suck” on it. I will tell her about it. Yes I will. Tomorrow. Yes I will.

 

Dear teen-aged Matt,

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Thursday, October 24, 1996

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No school tomorrow. S____’s coming over and we’re going to go to the Oshawa Centre and I’m hopefully going to get Huevos Rancheros’ Get Outta Dodge, and some new shirts. I figure a Pinky and the Brain or Tick shirt, and some other shirts. Hopefully a Hawaiian shirt.

I went on the internet tonight, we’re back on again, and I went to the Weezer site and printed off a publicity short of them posing like a family portrait. Matt Sharp is sitting on a stool, the guitarist has his hand on his shoulder, Rivers Cuomo is behind Matt and to his left and Pat Wilson is behind him. It has a cloud backdrop with one of those vine ladder type things. It’s a great photo and with this dynamite printer it came out beautifully. I then scanned both sides of a twenty dollar bill and put S____’s face over the Queen’s face, and my face on the loon’s body. It’s a little hard to see though. Other than the tonal difference it looks like the Queen is S____’s twin or something. It’s creepy.

 

Dear Teen-aged Matt,

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Wednesday, October 23, 1996

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I have a sociology test tomorrow. I didn’t study. I also didn’t do my math homework tonight. I learned how to parallel park in driver’s ed today.

I was walking down the hall when I hear K____ say something behind me, I don’t look back, but I walk slower, even though I’m in a hurry. She overtakes me, “Hi Matt” she says. “Good morning” is my reply. “So are you doing the mooing contest tomorrow?” she asks. “No,” I say, “I don’t feel too, uh…”

I’m unable to think of something to say, my mind races. Canine? No, that’s dogs.

“Cow-ey” I stumble out of my mouth. We’re at her class room. “You should wear your cow shirt” she says. “Ya, that’s a good idea,” I say, “I should”.

I remember one time in history K____ had been looking through a book for information for her independent study, so at the end of class I went up to her and asked her if it’s a good book: “Getting lots of information?” It was the dumbest thing I’ve said to her. I think it was at that point that M____ M____ began suspecting that I liked K____. He was right. but no one needed to know, and they still don’t.

There’s this grade 10 in my class, named T____ that I like. It’s isn’t so much physical attraction (as it seldom is with me anyway), but she is like me, only she says things I would only think because I’m too shy to speak up. I like her, her yearbook photo sucks though.

I really want to have lunch with K____. That would be very good. Hopefully in Civilizations in History there will be a day long fiel trip with lunch. Unfortunately S____ would be there too. Oh well. I’d just have to deal with it I suppose.

I saw B____ with a guy today. He had his arm around her. She’s Welsh, that’s what her accent is. She came to Canada in February. She has a very nice body, pretty face and wonderful accent. I wish I knew her better.

 

Dear Teen-aged Matt,

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